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The Dance

Maybe it was a threat to bring you here, possibly a gentle nudge from a close friend, or perhaps the cavity of conflict has grown so vast that my couch and little office is your last thread of hope. Whatever path it took to come to couples counseling, I can’t commend you enough for taking […]

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Discernment or Couples Counseling–Which is Right?

When couples first approach me about therapy for their relationship, there can be some confusion over the type of therapy they should consider. Individual counseling, couples counseling, or discernment counseling are all options. One of the first things I do is to determine the best type of therapy for them and their situation. Sometimes the […]

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Happy Wife, Happy Life?

I recently had the honor of being a guest writer on the website This site is dedicated to providing resources, information, and a community to support healthy, happy relationships–which are all things I believe in, too! My first article with them was about an old saying you’re probably familiar with. Ever heard the saying, “Happy […]

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How Al Franken’s ‘Stuart Smalley’ Became a Thorn in my Side

“You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.” Although we all love many of the characters Al Franken created in his comedic past, his character Stuart Smalley has become a frustrating part of our culture’s tendency to deflect actual feelings and self-awareness. This is especially true in the case of men, […]

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Fighting to be Heard versus Fighting to Understand

Here’s an obvious statement: communication is important in a relationship. I, along with many of my colleagues, realize that one of the most basic themes of connecting better for any relationship is having good communication skills. Poor communication skills, regardless of your level of personal insight, trauma recovery, deep therapy awareness building, etc, equals a […]

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Downsizing. A word you never want to hear–especially in conjunction with your place of employment. It’s always something that happens to other people, in other jobs and other companies…until it isn’t. The Phone Call I’d like to tell you that I handled “the phone call” with grace and dignity. I’d like to say how easy […]

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Mark Glover

A Weekend with Terry Real

Recently, I was fortunate enough to spend a weekend observing Terry Real, an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and author. He was in town conducting his Relational Life Therapy (RLT) workshop and I was one of 30-35 therapists observing his work. The RLT workshop is a two day, experiential program for couples that are on […]

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8 Basic Emotions

The 8 Basic Emotions

It amazes me how often I have clients who cannot put a name to the emotion that they are experiencing. I’ll hear things like “I can’t come up with a word for how I’m feeling” or “I don’t know what I’m feeling.” And this seems especially true when it comes to men (more about that […]

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Leadership and Change

During my time in the Pharma industry there was a saying that we heard a lot—no doubt you’ve hear it, or one of its variations, as well: “The only constant is change.” It sounds a bit like Minnesota weather! Change is a normal part of any business. In its positive aspects—growth and development, for example—it […]

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