Recently Kevin Love, a professional basketball player formerly with the Minnesota Timberwolves, now with the Cleveland Cavaliers, shared about his personal experience of having a panic attack during a game and how that completely shifted his opinion about mental health. I’m sharing this article for a number of reasons. What Kevin Love is expressing is…

Read More

Maybe it was a threat to bring you here, possibly a gentle nudge from a close friend, or perhaps the cavity of conflict has grown so vast that my couch and little office is your last thread of hope. Whatever path it took to come to couples counseling, I can’t commend you enough for taking…

Read More

When couples first approach me about therapy for their relationship, there can be some confusion over the type of therapy they should consider. Individual counseling, couples counseling, or discernment counseling are all options. One of the first things I do is to determine the best type of therapy for them and their situation. Sometimes the…

Read More

I recently had the honor of being a guest writer on the website marriage.com. This site is dedicated to providing resources, information, and a community to support healthy, happy relationships–which are all things I believe in, too! My first article with them was about an old saying you’re probably familiar with. Ever heard the saying, “Happy…

Read More

“You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.” Although we all love many of the characters Al Franken created in his comedic past, his character Stuart Smalley has become a frustrating part of our culture’s tendency to deflect actual feelings and self-awareness. This is especially true in the case of men,…

Read More

Here’s an obvious statement: communication is important in a relationship. I, along with many of my colleagues, realize that one of the most basic themes of connecting better for any relationship is having good communication skills. Poor communication skills, regardless of your level of personal insight, trauma recovery, deep therapy awareness building, etc, equals a…

Read More

Downsizing. A word you never want to hear–especially in conjunction with your place of employment. It’s always something that happens to other people, in other jobs and other companies…until it isn’t. The Phone Call I’d like to tell you that I handled “the phone call” with grace and dignity. I’d like to say how easy…

Read More

One thing I hear from my clients (frequently men) is: “I’m really sensitive, I just don’t show it. I have the ability to cry.” Many men see showing vulnerability and leaning into their emotions as weak. This results in men hiding or “stuffing” emotions. Men may not connect to their emotions, but they are driven…

Read More

Recently, I was fortunate enough to spend a weekend observing Terry Real, an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and author. He was in town conducting his Relational Life Therapy (RLT) workshop and I was one of 30-35 therapists observing his work. The RLT workshop is a two day, experiential program for couples that are on…

Read More
8 Basic Emotions

It amazes me how often I have clients who cannot put a name to the emotion that they are experiencing. I’ll hear things like “I can’t come up with a word for how I’m feeling” or “I don’t know what I’m feeling.” And this seems especially true when it comes to men (more about that…

Read More