Maybe it was a threat to bring you here, possibly a gentle nudge from a close friend, or perhaps the cavity of conflict has grown so vast that my couch and little office is your last thread of hope. Whatever path it took to come to couples counseling, I can’t commend you enough for taking…
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When couples first approach me about therapy for their relationship, there can be some confusion over the type of therapy they should consider. Individual counseling, couples counseling, or discernment counseling are all options. One of the first things I do is to determine the best type of therapy for them and their situation. Sometimes the…
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I recently had the honor of being a guest writer on the website marriage.com. This site is dedicated to providing resources, information, and a community to support healthy, happy relationships–which are all things I believe in, too! My first article with them was about an old saying you’re probably familiar with. Ever heard the saying, “Happy…
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“You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.” Although we all love many of the characters Al Franken created in his comedic past, his character Stuart Smalley has become a frustrating part of our culture’s tendency to deflect actual feelings and self-awareness. This is especially true in the case of men,…
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Here’s an obvious statement: communication is important in a relationship. I, along with many of my colleagues, realize that one of the most basic themes of connecting better for any relationship is having good communication skills. Poor communication skills, regardless of your level of personal insight, trauma recovery, deep therapy awareness building, etc, equals a…
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One thing I hear from my clients (frequently men) is: “I’m really sensitive, I just don’t show it. I have the ability to cry.” Many men see showing vulnerability and leaning into their emotions as weak. This results in men hiding or “stuffing” emotions. Men may not connect to their emotions, but they are driven…
Read MoreRecently, I was fortunate enough to spend a weekend observing Terry Real, an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and author. He was in town conducting his Relational Life Therapy (RLT) workshop and I was one of 30-35 therapists observing his work. The RLT workshop is a two day, experiential program for couples that are on…
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